Over the past week I have had the privilege of having some of the best conversations that I have ever had with some of my closest friends while being in college. The past month for my specific group of friends has been one of heartache, stress, and growth. While some of us are struggling with expectations from people that weren't met, dreams that weren't fulfilled or just the stress of finals coming up and grades being lower than expected one common theme has come into focus... insecurity.
I have come to realize over the past couple of weeks that it is extremely hard for a college aged girl, specifically one that is in the bible-belt, to admit that they are insecure. Insecurity is supposed to be only for middle school girls, right? Once you hit your 20's you aren't suppose to struggle with body image anymore and you aren't suppose to worry if people don't like you, right? Our society today tells us that we should know who we are by now and if people don't like us then that's their problem. Our society screams to us that if you are insecure-- you are weak.
Sadly, the reality is that often times we spend our days walking around with a confident exterior hoping that it is covering up the interior parts of who we are. The depths and depths of insecurity that plague our very souls. The problem with covering it up and wishing it away just because it "shouldn't be there" is that you are completely missing your opportunity to live in true community. You are missing your chance to let someone else know that they aren't alone. You are missing your chance to let someone redirect your perspective and your path back to the Gospel. You are missing your chance to confess so that you can then be fully healed by Jesus Christ who loves you deeply.
You see, this season of pain for a lot of my friends has brought about the best community that we have ever had. When you let go of your desire to be perceived as perfect to one another, you receive the gift of true friendship-- true community.
Insecurity, whether we want to admit it or not, is a daily struggle for most girls -- of all ages. We deeply desire to be admired, treasured, and as scary as it is, even worshiped. We become a little more insecure with every expectation that goes un-met. The even scarier part is that when we do not openly admit and confess our insecurity, we allow ourselves to wallow and to build up bitterness towards others and towards ourselves. However, when we DO admit our insecurity to each other we then open the doors to allow one another to be the body of Christ. We can then be encouraged and encourage one-another. We can then fight lies and sin together and not alone. We can then finally be what Christ intended for us to be for one another all along.
Vulnerability does not equal weakness. This is a lie that I chose to believe for a long time. When I finally let myself believe that vulnerability with my friends was a good thing, I began to see the intimate work of true friendship being done in my own life. This type of friendship has become a weapon I use to fight sin and has changed the very core of me. Vulnerability is hard but it pales in comparison to what we receive because of it.
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