"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired"
and when I read it I didn't think much of it except that it sounded okay enough. Then I couldn't stop thinking about it and I went back to read it again... and then one more time.
and I realized that I hated it. Is that what people think love is? Is that what I think love is?
God's word says that love is about self-denial and sacrifice and putting others and most importantly, God-- before yourself and your own desires. So if that is true how can I possibly believe that quote? Love is to have a desire to be desired?
No, not quite. Though I (regretfully) admit that over the past semester I have seen love more like what that quote says than what Christ says-- I have seen it as something that I need to achieve. Something that I have to chase after to get but the race keeps getting longer and I keep getting more tired. Less about something that I can give and more about something that I need to receive.
I have equated love to be that exact definition: being irresistible to someone. I have struggled with the feelings of not feeling loved because I am not feeling irresistible.
This is a sick and twisted view of love and one that our culture is drowning in.
not to mention... a recipe for disaster in a dating relationship that is seeking to honor Christ.
This is where I find myself today. In a dating relationship with a man who desires to please God WAY more than he desires to please me (thank you, Jesus!) and yet I am letting Satan tell me that because this man resists me that he must not really care for me... when in fact, it is the exact opposite.
I remember one of my friends saying this to me a couple of years ago...
"Maddie, it's like I want him to worship me. Like I am jealous of God because he is giving Him(God) more attention than he is giving me. It's like I cannot stand the thought of him not finding me irresistible. I don't know what my problem is... I know in my head that I have no desire for him to worship me but in the moment I want nothing more than the satisfaction of knowing that he isn't able to resist me..."
When my friend told me this awhile back, I couldn't relate to her and I remember thinking... "I'm glad she is being honest but did she really just say she wanted him to worship her?" and now here I am relating to her very confession more than I would like to admit. (but I'm still working on the bringing things to light deal so admitting I go...)
Women everywhere have an overwhelming desire to be wanted, noticed and in the end irresistibly desired by men. This is an effect of the fall... Genesis 3:16 tells us women, "Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you". This whole wanting to be irresistible thing isn't new to this world, though I do think that it is becoming more and more difficult to fight against it. Our culture is telling us more and more how normal and natural it is to feel these temptations and because we feel them we should go ahead and feed them. Are you giving into this lie that it is okay to feed these selfish desires? I know that I have been and that I must start fighting harder.
WOMEN fight the temptation of wanting men to worship you
MEN don't worship us. even when we beg--don't do it. we are not worthy, we are not your Savior.
WOMEN fight the temptation of wanting to be irresistibly desired-- fight for your purity because you desire to be h o l y and fight for his purity too.
MEN be kind to us, love us as Christ has called you to... not how we have called you to.
WOMEN search for men who don't desire to worship you or find you irresistible... then marry them. (im only partly kidding--if you can find a man who will not compromise what Jesus commands of him then I am pretty sure he'll make an
MEN be the kind of man who won't compromise and find a girl who despite her sinful nature, will not see herself as worthy of any type of worship. Worthy definitely, just not worthy of worship.
EVERYONE trust that He knows what He is doing. He is good. He is trustworthy. He is for us.
This semester is going to be one of giving up the idea that I need to be irresistible to anyone--including my own boyfriend. God has called me out to live a life of purity and Godliness and has given me the tools to do it... I just have to put the tools in my hand and start working. As I work and as I chisel down the ugly parts of myself I will remember and lean on the fact that I am following the ultimate Potter, the ultimate Carpenter, the ultimate Guide.
Ladies, I think it's a safe bet to say that we have spent the majority of our lives seeking out ways to be perceived as irresistible to everyone around us--especially men. This isn't healthy for them and it isn't healthy for us either. After all, our worth and beauty comes straight from our good Father, not from any type of make-up, clothes, or work-out video.
I never thought I'd say this but I want to become irresistibly resistible.
I want to live in a way that I am protecting my brothers in Christ-- protecting my future husband.
I have no place to desire to be worshiped. I have no place to chase after affirmation that I am irresistible.
I must be r e s i s t i b l e until my wedding day. Only after such a covenant as that can I give myself to a man and desire for him to see me as irresistible.
Men and women alike, hear me when I say... We can do it. It'll be worth the wait-- and we'll be able to point a lot of people to Jesus along the way when we live life in this radical way.
Our flesh CAN starve. We will not die because we aren't feeding it. When we do this we will actually fully live in the best sense of the word.
Cheers to becoming irresistibly resistible.
...should be
