Learning grace through receiving while failing.
I get this, because this describes this season in my life perfectly as well. Because I fail, daily. My actions don't deserve, daily, but I receive, daily. Whether it is from the Lord, my family or my friends, I feel like I am constantly receiving grace.
And sometimes that makes me mad.
Last summer when I was serving as a Baby Ruth at Pine Cove, I learned something about myself that I had never known before. It is easy for me to offer grace, but close to impossible for me to accept it. It's a selfish thing, really. I had some sick reasoning going on in my head that involved me thinking if I accepted grace from others and even from Christ Himself, that I was less of a person. I would get mad (and sometimes still do) because that's not who I am, right? I get mad that I have to fail to learn and that the failing hurts really, really bad.
Last summer when I was serving as a Baby Ruth at Pine Cove, I learned something about myself that I had never known before. It is easy for me to offer grace, but close to impossible for me to accept it. It's a selfish thing, really. I had some sick reasoning going on in my head that involved me thinking if I accepted grace from others and even from Christ Himself, that I was less of a person. I would get mad (and sometimes still do) because that's not who I am, right? I get mad that I have to fail to learn and that the failing hurts really, really bad.
Check out this verse in second Corinthians where God speaks of His grace being sufficient. (MSG translation)
...I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations... At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then He told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
My handicaps?? Anxiety, worry, control, fear of failure, fear of not being heard, fear of fill-in-the-blank.
But I know that when these handicaps cause me to fail in this world, I am picked up by His grace and I receive and learn and am sent off to take another step. I am learning and trying to put myself aside and sometimes that involves accepting grace not only from God but from those living life with me as well.
Sometimes I don't get it. Sometimes my mind and head and thoughts take over. But I am learning through receiving, which I think is the only way, really.
...I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations... At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then He told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.
My handicaps?? Anxiety, worry, control, fear of failure, fear of not being heard, fear of fill-in-the-blank.
But I know that when these handicaps cause me to fail in this world, I am picked up by His grace and I receive and learn and am sent off to take another step. I am learning and trying to put myself aside and sometimes that involves accepting grace not only from God but from those living life with me as well.
Sometimes I don't get it. Sometimes my mind and head and thoughts take over. But I am learning through receiving, which I think is the only way, really.
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