missing out on fun.
missing out on rest.
missing out on opportunities.
missing out on wisdom.
missing out on relationships.
missing out on ________ (fill in the blank)
Although I really started to notice this trend in my life this semester, I am confident that I have struggled with this for most of my life. I can remember being as young as 4 years old and wanting desperately to go get in bed because I could hardly keep my eyes open, but refusing to because I was so scared of missing out on something that my family might do without me.
Fast forward to the beginning of middle school. I remember all too vividly the night I found out I didn't get an invitation to my friends first guy/girl birthday party. I remember thinking am I not good enough? What's wrong with me? Whats wrong with her? But mom, I am missing it, THE PARTY. I cried myself to sleep that night. It was dramatic. I was eleven.
Then high school comes around and missing out all of the sudden takes on a whole new meaning. It is essentially that same gut wrenching feeling you have always felt, but now it is somehow more abstract and seems to hurt a whole lot worse. Looking back, it was in my high school years that I started to really let missing out on things define me. It wasn't just the anxiety of my family having fun without me or the agony of not getting invited to the sixth grade party of the year anymore. Now it was things like: it seems like every girl in this whole school has been asked to a dance at least once, or asked to go out on a date at least once and I've never been asked to anything. It changed from little things that made me sad to bigger things that not only made me sad, but started to define me.
Freshman year of college comes around and missing out really starts to take a toll on my body. Not just mentally but also spiritually, emotionally and even physically. College is supposed to be the "best time of your life" and yet friday night after friday night I had found myself sitting in room 315 of Collins reading yet another Karen Kingsbury novel. This didn't seem right, and I knew people were out doing things, that they had friends and had fun together. I thought things like "Why am I missing out on the college experience and what am I supposed to do differently so people will like me?"
I fought with those thoughts on and off for the better part of my freshman year. Over the past 6 months the Lord has done amazing refinement in my life. I am being taught daily that the Lord has prepared my steps and I am to be still and follow Him. My life isn't going to look like yours. It isn't going to look like my best friends and most importantly it isn't going to look like what I think it should because my life isn't my own. When I said yes to God, I said no to myself and to my sin. The cool thing is though, that the Lord has promised to withhold nothing good from me. This doesn't mean that he is going to give me what I want- it means that He is going to give me the very best. And the best might be painful- but it's still the best.
And guess what? I have great news:
When you are daily seeking the Lord and His perfect will for your life-
you haven't missed out on anything.
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