I remember the day all too well. I can't remember the exact date though I know it was during Christmas break of 2011. I had just gotten home from a ski trip and my best friend and I were spending the afternoon together celebrating her engagement that had just happened a week or so before. We were in the car stopped at the intersection of Rieck Rd and Broadway in Tyler. I remember sitting there and her joyfully telling me, "Hey, I think me and Daniel picked a date for the wedding! October 13th, 2012!" I can't remember if I said anything right after she said that but what I do remember is a few seconds later and I (out of nowhere) started to cry...hard. It's probably every girls dream that when she tells her best friend that she picked her WEDDING date that they start sobbing... right? No, nightmare. I sat there looking at her and did my very best to vocalize how I felt, saying...
"I'm happy I promise, it's just that on October 13th you get a new best friend but I don't and that's hard for me"
She looked at me and started to cry also not because she felt bad for me but because she knew that it was true. It wasn't a bad thing-- it was a good thing but it was change. And in that moment she did the very best thing that she could have ever done for me. She cried alongside her "run away from change as fast as you can" best friend and let me know without using words that I was right, she was getting a new best friend but that it was going to be okay and she wasn't going anywhere.
All of life brings different types of rejection. You can feel rejection from a group of people, a job, a school, a church, a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, singleness and even change in other peoples marital status. Singleness in particularly can make someone feel rejection in a deep way. I like to imagine that singleness a lot of times can feel like you're back in middle school waiting to see if you're going to get picked by someone for the flag football team. And if you do get picked how many rounds is it going to take until they call your name and is it going to be the team (person) you wanted to join?!
It's embarrassing to admit that singleness sometimes feels like that middle school playground but I think all too often that's exactly what it feels like and it's not a good feeling. All of a sudden you have something that was intended to be fun and good (the "football" game which is representing dating just incase you're missing it) but instead of actually starting the game, you have a whole lot of insecure people standing in a field wondering why all of these other people don't see them as worthy of being on their team. It doesn't feel good to not get picked for a team and it also doesn't feel good to pick someone for your team who then tells you, "Sorry but I don't think I want your team."
r e j e c t i o n sucks.
I wish that there was a better way of putting it but when it comes right down to it-- rejection does suck. BUT, like most things, what we choose to do with rejection can not only change our moods but it can change our lives in a powerful way. You and I are both broken people and we are created to have identity, worth, and affirmation spoken into us but we are not designed to have these things spoken into us by humans.
Jesus asked the Pharisees this question: "How can you believe (or be satisfied with God), when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?" -John 5:44
God is the ONLY one who has the ability to speak identity into you in such a way that it secures who you are. If you are allowing a fallen human being to try and do such a thing then you are hurting both yourself and that person. Don't try and give humans the power to give you value when that power belongs to Christ alone.
Fab Sharford says this: "The key to satisfaction in Him is two-fold; not receiving your worth from the words of man, and seeking it from God. The pain we experience in singleness occurs because the first condition has been met. Now, the challenge is to let go of my desire to seek out and try to secure that affirmation from humans and instead seek my affirmation from God."
Here's (in my opinion) one of the best thing about singleness: It often times forces you into a place where you aren't getting humans approval or affirmation. This puts you in a hard but perfect place to practice the discipline of seeking affirmation from God alone-- for He is the only one who can truly give it to you anyway.
While you might not be getting picked for the team or you might have people telling you that they don't want to be apart of your team know this:
*If you are taking this rejection and giving it to Christ, allowing Him to fill the aching fear and insecurity that has come from it then your reward is going to be great. You will have a deeper knowledge of Christ's goodness, deeper faith, and deeper satisfaction from our Lord and Savior. *
And people, lets wake up to the reality that there is NOTHING BETTER THAN THAT!!
Heres the coolest part about the story I told you at the beginning of this post:
You see after that Christmas break I began to pray that the Lord would take away any insecurity, jealousy, bitterness or envy that had come about in my heart with knowing that Emma would be getting married soon because first off having those things in my heart is bad and secondly, I wanted to be able to have true j o y for my main gal on her most favorite day. Not only would she be gaining another best friend but I would forever and always come after Daniel now. While I wanted that for her and Daniel and I desperately wanted them to walk into a healthy marriage covenant, it was still hard for me to swallow that while Emma was still my number one that after that day I wouldn't and shouldn't ever be her number one again. So, I prayed. I knew that God cared about every negative feeling I felt and I decided that I would believe that He cared to change those feelings as well. And guess what...
He did! He changed them. All of them. It to this day is one of my most treasured journeys with my King! How sweet is His love to care enough for me that He wouldn't just change my feelings but that He would place in me a strong and true realization and belief that on that day Emma gained a husband but that she didn't gain the best thing-- for she had already had the best thing for a long long time and I had it too. She was now no more whole than I was. God knew that she needed Daniel starting October 13th, 2012 and God knew that I needed singleness. I trust that He knows and will provide for the day when I need a relationship with a man who fears Him to bring me into a better relationship with Him.
October 13th, 2012
(didn't turn out so bad after all)
When you give God the pain of your rejection you are allowing Him to turn that pain into good, good things. Proof of those good things is found in the picture above through the joy on our faces on that good, good day.
Gods love is > the pain of rejection
rest secure and go have fun while your friends get hitched!
No comments:
Post a Comment